Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Life: Not So Friendly Friendship (Take 3 of infinite)

Among the types of friends that I have, there is one that is particularly fascinating yet painful which is a friend that is blunt in their opinion of you. When speaking with this particular friend, I become highly defensive by deflecting fault with a joke or a return jab at their own flaws. My ego becomes hurt and I start a journey in self discovery.

In one instance, we ended up discussing about recommendations on LinkedIn. I do not go out of my way to request recommendations, so I figured that was the reason that I do not have any. Although, I do have one but that one person made it seem too over-exaggerated for a random person that did not know the person so unfortunately I have hidden that one. Bluntly, my friend said it was because I did not impact anyone on such a level that they will go out of their way to write one.

Ouch. Instinctively, I became defensive and mentioned all the standard reasons to why recommendations are inflated on the site. But, the damage is done because there is some truth behind it. I work extra hours, work hard, and go out of my way to help people. So even though it may be against standard trend, probability says that I should have affected someone by now.

There was another discussion where I mentioned that I could be good at something if I wasn't always so distracted by family, work, myself, etc. And my friend just simply said that I just was not dedicated to it. Although fundamentally true and that I would still assist the family before my interests, his words still stung.

After a few days, I feel that I have become more driven and focused on the things that are important to me. Whether his words were correct or not, they gave me a clearer perspective on the choices that I made. And with the stronger resolve, it has made decision-making much easier in life.

So I am glad that I have a couple friends that take me out of my comfort zone. Although I do not wish to have anymore brutal truths, I have found that I seem to grow faster under such situations.