The other day, I heard through a friend that someone I've met on a trip committed suicide. The first and last time I met the person was a few years ago, so I do not remember much except that he was a good person. Even with such a small connection, I was very saddened by the news.
The situation sounded very sudden that my friend knew very little of what happened. So, the news is quite frustrating because... because... it is just not a good feeling to be helpless. So many questions ran through my head, like "was he depressed? how does someone reach such depression?" or "was it loneliness? or bad work environment?" or "what could his friends have done if he shut them out?" or "what would I have done?"
I want to say that I know how depression feels, but to reach that level... I have to accept that I really have no idea. What seems scary was that at the time, he appeared to have good group of friends and family. How can something like that change in a couple years? Perhaps things are not as they seem?
Is it possible to understand such a state? Would he have been able to persuade me his experiences? Or even believe that I understand even if I was capable of understanding? I apologize for not having much constructive to say on this topic.
I do not want to say that there is always someone worse off than you because that means someone is at the bottom. What I am trying to explain is that if you have reached a point where you think the world is better off without you or that if no one would even notice that you are missing, there are so many people out there seeking for help that could be greatly influenced by you in different ways.
I guess what motivates me was my experience volunteering in China. Even though I could barely speak Chinese, I could clearly see how enthusiastic the other volunteers in the group were. They were all local high-school students, college students, and young adults. Even in China standards, they were not well-off but they were always willing to help those even less fortunate. Surprisingly, the people (who we assisted) returned to not only thank us but also assisted in other ways. At some point, I realized that no one really is at the bottom like those considered at the top.
So even if you think you are at the "bottom" of life, there is still others who value you. Those people may not be directly around you, so reach out... you are not alone.
PS, I happened to stumble across this the day after I wrote the above (fate, destiny, coincidence? perhaps):
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2722
11/4/2013
Although no informative results, more awareness cannot hurt:
http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2013/10/a-study-of-suicide-notes-left-by.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BpsResearchDigest+%28BPS+Research+Digest%29
Try hugging a teddy:
http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2013/11/low-self-esteem-and-scared-of-death-try.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BpsResearchDigest+%28BPS+Research+Digest%29
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