My Life: Grinding to New Motivation

After listening a youtube video by HealthyGamerGG ("Why Potential is Paralyzing") with 5 kids struggling with motivation. I cannot fully say that I was ever is such a position, but I feel that I can relate in that I fear that scenario. Perhaps I was fortunate enough to be smart enough where my bare minimum was good enough. Perhaps, I had enough desperation to survive too.

A part of me feels that I was able to get out of this feeling was mid- to late- 20s. In hindsight, I feel this was a long path. 

The first part of what helped me was parts of my life where I just grinded. I did A, B, and C all day, everday for days on end. My thoughts were just finish this and move to the next. Whether this was a game like Tetris, SC, DOTA, Pokemon, Candy Crush, Angry Birds, and later work. I worked my second work for about 80 hours a week.

The second part was not recognizing my poor study habits. I learned this in my final year and after college when I was helping underclassmen. Although I was able to do their homework, I struggled explaining the material. I was forced to read the text and then realized how much sense it made in my own understanding of the material.

The third part was my self-competitiveness. In things that I enjoyed, I wanted to have the top score. Mario Kart speed times, Tetris score on each individual's device, Bubble Pop, rate of completing Candy Crush with no cheats or even bonus items even if free. Eventually, I learned that my PB are far from the best. I will still play competitively but losing is not a big matter.

I cannot say when I flipped the switch about personal motivation.

Another part of the video that I enjoyed was the outlook on Hope vs Hopelessness.

Life: Empathy vs Sympathy

 https://www.6seconds.org/2021/01/20/empathy-vs-sympathy-what-the-difference/

I liked this video. It makes a lot of sense. I am not sure if I totally agree with the definition of empathy and sympathy. I will admit that my definitions may be (probably is most likely) incorrect. But, I understand the point of Brene Brown.

The struggle to help is real. There have been many times where I really just say "I do not know what to say." And I don't feel that it is so easy because while one says it, one still battles the urges to do something. If you say it but don't battle it, then it may come across empty. I feel it is not just words alone but also the expressions that I am also struggling to find an answer... or maybe even to say an answer.

In my mind, there are a lot of questions or "at leasts" but often conclude that it just belittles the feeling or inappropriate for the moment. I think the person who shared the feeling can sense this.

What I like about this video is learning that this feeling is not only normal but the better option.

Scammish: Microsoft listening into personal conversations finding its way in ads (Personal Experience)

On my work laptop, I just saw ads for two items that I have never searched or ordered before on any of my work devices. Both of them suddenly came up on several ads on msn 

I rarely use my work phone. It basically just sits on my desk. I have taken maybe one call in the last month. I use my laptop on a very regular basis.

I am logged into all devices with work identifications, none related to any of my personal identifications.

The scary part is that these were things my wife was talking about just recently. Talking! She never messaged these things to me through text, email, etc. 

I have absolutely no idea which device or app even listened in on this.

Dear Microsoft, stay out of my life!!

There should be some law to force advertisers to publish where they received our personal information!