Life: Am I lonely? Are my friends really friends?

The trigger for this post was caused by a fleeting feeling of sadness when I realized that very, very few "friends" call me to chat or catchup. And by friends calling me, I mean that they call me maybe once a year sometimes even two years.

Even then, the ratio of me calling them versus they calling me is extremely high. Actually as I write this and except for my family, no one calls me more often and not even close to 50/50.

The sad part is not whether they think of me as a friend or not. I feel more sadness thinking that I am kind of a waste of their time. Should I just stop reaching out? Maybe it is their way of saying not interested?

Does this make me lonely? I am not sure. Maybe it isn't really a feeling of sadness but maybe more like a disappointment that I couldn't be of more value to other people. I also kind of starting to sense that maybe they only talk to me out of pity. Pity of what though?

Or is it this lack of sadness that makes it hard for me to relate to people's need to have friendships that is more regular like on a daily or weekly basis? Even with whom I call my good/best friends, I chat with them maybe on a yearly basis.

Or is it normal to have to put in so much effort to maintain friendships? It doesn't seem like it should to me.

Am I lonely? I do not feel sad about being alone. But this is easy for me to say because I have a loving family although could be a insane sometimes. I sense that I could survive being alone. I could find contentment and occasional happiness. Would I get depressed? Probably not.

Are my friends, friends? Yea, I believe my good friends are. I think I just attract others who are more similar to me, maybe even more of a hermit than me. I fully believe that if I am in need that they will try to be there for me. And if they are ever in need, that I would try to be there for them. By "try", I mean with the best of intentions. I would not expect them to put me over their family nor to put them in any financial risks.

I believe I have less traditionally defined friends. And I am ok with that.

I also believe I have some friends that I would really love to be better friends with that I am not sure if it is reciprocated. Which I am ok with too, but just unsure if I should just not contact them anymore. Or is this deemed more like an investment/insurance in case they would need me? My feelings are a bit complicated on this on whether I should just use that time on finding other people.

Or is my feelings complicated because I seem to spend more time with colleagues than people I really care for? I actually spend more time on this blog than most people too...

But in some sense this blog is kind of my way to communicate without being a burden. Only people who would be very interested would find this. I guess the other is that is mostly for my future self. Or is it for hopes that it could help a completely random person? I don't know... 

Re-reading this blog made me think of the Twitch psychologist, Alok Kanojia. I don't think I am even on that level. I can understand from empirical information. But I have to admit that it is very difficult for me to relate empathetically to the more extreme (imo) feelings. Makes me wonder if that is what differentiates the types of friends we have. In that case, I guess it makes sense that I "keep" a smaller circle. But it is not that I am the one limiting my circle size. Or maybe I am because there are definitely some people I did not want to be close friends with.

Unknown knowns: Connecting DBeaver to Google Cloud VM MariaDb

Install MariaDb Server and database is pretty standard. I used this link:
https://linuxize.com/post/how-to-install-mariadb-on-debian-9/

The problem was using DBeaver to connect to the server which required another step:
http://www.daniloaz.com/en/how-to-create-a-user-in-mysql-mariadb-and-grant-permissions-on-a-specific-database/

• May also work for MySql

Reference

https://linuxize.com/post/how-to-install-mariadb-on-debian-9/
http://www.daniloaz.com/en/how-to-create-a-user-in-mysql-mariadb-and-grant-permissions-on-a-specific-database/

Unknown Knowns: Parsing Names (2010 list by McKenzie)

I have attempted to parse names before, so this was an interesting read. I did kind of know about complexity of input restrictions to names, so I did not spend a lot of time working on that much. I did try to create a program to detect first names, common names, family names, etc. I probably spent an entire day just reading a plethora of articles on different cultures of names. Essentially, I never got around to even starting one. For most systems that I build now, I just use a display name. User enters their own first name and last name which most of my applications don't require but is sometimes required for third parties especially for payments.

https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/

Unknown knowns: Postgresql (psql) Case Sensitivity Borderline Buggish

I could not find much literature on why POSTGRESQL is case sensitivity is no consistent. Obviously, it can be worked around but not very intuitive to someone new to Postgres but is experienced with other databases.

My "problem" with Postgres in my first hour was creating a table and querying the table. Postgres forces lower-case on the table name when creating if no double-quotes are used. But when you query the table, the syntax is case-sensitive so will not find the table because they are not the same cases.

Most literature I read just explains that this happens. Some argue that this is not a case-sensitivity issue, which I suppose is kind of, maybe technically true. But seriously, if I type in any language:

CREATE TABLE AbcDef

I would most definitely think that, "SELECT * FROM AbcDef", should most definitely work whether the system records the table the same way I named it.

I am just saying even if Postgres lower-cased AbcDef to abcdef, it should also search for table abcdef when I query by AbcDef. And if I really want it to be AbcDef with double-quotes, then I use double-quotes in my query. And this is why I think this is kind of buggish.

If it weren't for me trying to gain some experience with Postgres, I feel this is probably enough for me to start gaining more experience with MySql. Although the object-oriented portion is a bit intriguing. 

Unknown knowns: Different sign languages (Taiwan vs American)

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fseektheworld2015%2Fvideos%2F602832317146664%2F&show_text=0&width=560

Side-by-side video of some basic words for Taiwan and American sign languages

Unknown knowns

Unknown knowns is my new series of learning new things that I did not know before.